Meet The Boyfriend
by pupeez4eva
Summary: In which Dick decides it's his job to protect his big brother from perverted, no-good boyfriends. Age Reverse, Damian/Colin, hints of Dick/Wally.


"So this is the new little brother, huh?"

Colin was examining Dick as if he were some unknown species. Damian noticed that he did that a lot when first introduced to his new 'siblings' — Drake, Todd, and Cassandra had all received the same treatment. Despite the ever-growing Bat-clan, Colin just couldn't seem to wrap his head around Batman being anyone's dad. Damian, sure, but he hadn't exactly planned that. Batman entering fatherhood _willingly?_ Now that was just incomprehensible.

"This is Richard," Damian said, shooting Colin a slightly exasperated look. "Father's ward."

Colin nodded. "Yeah, the new little brother."

Damian twitched. _"Foster_ brother."

Dick made an impatient noise, and Damian sighed. "Richard," he said, "this is Colin Wilkes. Colin, this is Richard Grayson."

"You don't need to be so formal, Dami," Colin said, and his lips quirked in amusement.

Dick perked up. "Can I call you Dami too?"

"No." Damian shot him a quick scowl. Dick didn't seem deterred by this, and continued to smile cheerily. "You will address me by my proper name — Damian. Just as I will call you _Richard,_ and not that vile nickname."

Colin flashed him a quick grin. "Dami's funny, huh?"

Dick giggled and nodded.

Damian scowled.

Dick turned back to Colin, apparently deciding that the redhead was the coolest thing ever. The child seemed to do that a lot; Damian supposed it was an aftereffect of his age. It was the only reason he could think of that Richard would find _Drake_ and _Todd_ of all people remotely interesting.

(Although if the boy liked Colin, then Damian supposed he had good taste).

"So are you guys best friends?" Dick beamed. "Like Wally and me?"

Damian scoffed. "Don't be ridiculous. You and West have known each other for less than a month. You are hardly 'best friends'."

Not to mention, the brat was insufferable. If Damian had to deal with him invading the manor, devouring all their food (and blaming it on his 'fast metabolism' — _no_ the child was just a greedy brat), keeping Damian up with his inability to _shut the hell up at ungodly hours,_ and then having the _gall_ to ask Damian why he was still living at home when Damian told him to _"shut his goddamn trap"_ — well, neither Dick, nor his father, nor the Flash would be very pleased with the outcome.

"He's really funny, and we have movie sleepovers," Dick said, shrugging. "That makes him my best friend."

Damian's eye twitched, and he told himself that arguing with a nine year old was not very dignified. It helped — somewhat.

"Sooo… _is_ Colin your best friend?"

Colin smiled. "His boyfriend actually."

 _"Wilkes!"_

"What? I was just answering the kid's question."

Colin smiled at him, in that innocent Colin-way that he'd somehow retained from their childhood. The smiled that fooled everyone. Damian — well, Damian wasn't an idiot. He could see the devious gleam in the redhead's eyes, that anyone else would call him crazy for noticing ( _"COLIN? Colin's too nice and innocent, what the hell are you talking about?!"_ ).

Well. That was why Damian knew him best. And that was why he loved him.

 _...Not_ that he wanted his 9 year old bro - _foster_ brother, knowing the details of his love life.

"You're his _boyfriend?"_ Dick stared at Colin with wide eyes.

"Yes," Damian ground out, and then shot Colin a glare.

Colin beamed at him. "Love you too, Dami."

 _'Asshole.'_

"Oh." Dick cocked his head to the side, his brow furrowing slightly. He then nodded slowly, and said, "I'm going to kill you then."

"…Um, wait, what?"

Damian stared at Dick, and decided that Colin's _"um, wait, what?"_ while unintelligible, was a very good question.

Dick ignored the older males, and chewed nervously on his lip. "Could you not tell Bruce?" he asked hesitantly. "Cos he doesn't like killing…"

"No wait — what? Why would you…" Colin turned to Damian, who shrugged in response. It's not like he had any idea what the child was rambling about.

"Richard," he said, to the flustered child, "what are you talking about?"

"Why do you like Damian?" Dick attempted to scowl, but it simply made him look like an angry puppy. A very red, blushing kicked puppy. "…And then I'll kill you, I guess."

Colin gaped.

"Richard," Damian ground out. Because — _what the hell?!_ "What. Are. You. Talking. About?!"

Dick shrugged. "He's your boyfriend. I need to ask him questions." He nodded, as if this all made sense.

"…I think your little brother is interrogating me," Colin said, bewildered.

Damian squeezed his eyes shut. He could feel a headache coming on.

"Richard," he said, opening his eyes, and forcing himself to stare firmly at the nine year old, "Colin is…you don't need to do that."

This was why Damian was never having kids. They were utterly ridiculous. _He_ had never been so foolish at this age, so why couldn't the others act like responsible, mature human beings?

(Of course, he pointedly ignored the many instances he'd suspiciously stalked his father and the Kyle woman after he'd first arrived at the manor at ten years of age. That had been warranted, after all. The woman was a gold digging whore, and he was protecting his own sanity, _not_ his Father's non-existent chastity).

"Yes I do," Dick said insistently. "I read it in a magazine once."

Damian sighed. "Yes, well — the magazine was wrong. You don't need to do that."

"Why?"

 _'Stubborn brat.'_

"Because Mr. Wayne beat you to it years ago," Colin interjected. "And trust me — it wasn't fun."

Damian pat his shoulder, partially because he was glad that Colin had taken over, and partially because Colin obviously needed the comfort.

"Bruce…tried to kill you?" Dick sounded shocked.

Colin blinked. "Uh, no, but he did say he'd break all the…er…"

Damian sighed. "He goes on patrol every night as Robin. It's fine."

"…Well, he took care of it. So you don't need to worry. Plus, it's not like I'd ever hurt Dami."

Damian rolled his eyes. As if Colin could ever hurt a fly (…except for the criminals he beat up as Abuse every night, of course, but they deserved it).

"Oh." Dick cocked his head to the side, and, after a moment, nodded slowly. "Okay. Good. Because I like you, Mr. Colin. Plus, you have really nice hair, just like Wally!"

Damian twitched.

"…Wally has red hair?"

"Shut up," Damian barked, and Colin stared at him in confusion.

Whatever. And he was not protective, not in the least. He was just protecting his own sanity - God knows, he needed it in this family.

 **...**

 **AN:**

 **So...here's a new oneshot, even though I should really be working on my chaptered fics. Although age!reverse was surprisingly fun to write...I like big brother Damian haha. I should write more of this sometime.**

 **Hope you enjoyed this! :D**


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